I have a friend (let's call him Sam), who has more
potential than most people I know. Sam's well-educated,
smart, interesting to talk to and has good people skills.
He looks good, smells good and he's
broke.And I don't mean just financially. His spirit
is broken. He's physically overdrawn and emotionally
bankrupt.Sam has read lots of success literature. He
has a good grasp of the principles of success. Most
people would say he has a good attitude but they, like
me, are somewhat baffled by his less-than-stelllar performance.
Sam wants desperately to succeed. He's been successful
before. He can do it again, but will he?So what's Sam's
problem? I don't know him well enough to know all the
reasons he stays stuck, but I have some observations.
Sam has two major challenges:
1. He doesn't love what he's doing, and
2. he doesn't consistently do the things he knows he
must in order to succeed.Like many people today, Sam
wants to make it big. As we see people in their twenties
becoming millionaires through stock options and IPOs,
it's easy to feel like we've missed-or are missing-the
boat. Sam feels a need to remain in his chosen profession
because it's what he knows and where he thinks the big
bucks can be made. But money won't make him successful.
He needs to become successful on the inside before it
happens on the outside.
If Sam loved what he did and it wasn't
turning out all that profitable, he could continue to
look for ways to make it work. But since it's not working
and he doesn't even like doing it, it seems to me the
Universe is telling him loud and clear to make a different
career choice.
Like the rabbit in The Tortoise and
the Hare, Sam works in spurts. He burns out, gets sidetracked
and loses momentum. And every time he does, he feels
like a failure. His self-esteem plummets and he feels
guilty for not doing what he set out to do. Each time
this happens, it becomes harder and harder to get started
again. The Hyde School in Bath, Maine has a philosophy
which I support. They don't believe you can get kids
to do great things by helping them feel better about
themselves. They believe you get kids to feel good about
themselves by getting them to do great things. And it
works.
Sam thinks he needs to enhance his
self-esteem in order to make better progress. What I
think he needs to do is find something he's excited
about, set some reasonable goals and take the steps
to achieve them. As he succeeds in small matters, his
confidence and self-worth will climb. From there, he
can set some bigger goals and create a bigger game-a
game worth playing. By doing something he loves, he'll
be enjoying the price of success instead of paying the
price of success. His health will improve, his net worth
will go up right along with his self-respect, and he
will affect all those around him in a positive way.I
firmly believe that our life works in direct proportion
to how well-synched we are to our true purpose-our unique
contribution to the world.When we're engaged in something
joyful, it doesn't seem like work and the results can
be magical. As John Ruskin wrote, "When love and
skill work together, expect a masterpiece."
Sam didn't arrive at where he is overnight,
and he may not turn it around quickly either. There
will undoubtedly be major breakthroughs and blinding
flashes of the obvious, but he needs to stay the course
in order to have this happen.We all need to run (or
walk) the race like the tortoise but also make sure
we're in the right race. Clarity of purpose and consistent
investments of time and effort toward that purpose will
always win.
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