You know how, when you're watching
a speaker, you can tell if he or she is nervous? There
are those tell-tale signs: trembling hands and voice,
lack of eye contact, perspiration, twitches, lots of
"ummms," and a myriad of other idiosyncratic
gestures and signs that show he or she is not fully
at ease in front of an audience.Did you know that I
can spot those same tell-tale signs in your writing?If
you're not completely confident in your skills as a
writer, and in what you've written in particular, there
are warning signs that can tip off an editor or reader.
I find them in query letters all the time, and, to a
lesser extent, in articles and stories themselves.The
first tip-off? Stilted language.Stilted language is
formal and proper. It employs big words when small ones
would suffice just fine. It "sounds" canned
and over-prepared.
Example: "Marjorie was required
to submit to a physician's examination prior to the
interview in which she would be considered for the position."Doesn't
it sound like the writer is working too hard to impress
here? Like she's trying to SOUND like a journalist?
"Real writers" don't have to use big words
and serious language to effectively get their point
across. In fact, the more direct and simple the language,
the better."Marjorie had to go for a doctor's exam
before the company would consider her for the job."Is
it "dumbing down" your language? No. It's
cutting through the thicket and allowing the words to
flow as naturally as they would in your speech--just
with the benefit of editing. It's being purposely as
understandable as possible, so that if someone was skimming
your query/article quickly, he would still get the meaning,
without tripping over S.A.T. words or unfamiliar phrasing.
Many professional writers (myself included)
believe in writing first drafts quickly, so as not to
give our brains enough time to censor, doubt, and question
each word as it flows through us and onto the paper.
When I write, whether it's an article, story, or just
about anything else, I pretend I'm talking to a friend.
I want my friend to hear about this interesting thing
I learned. So, I tell him in the same manner I'd tell
him if he were sitting next to me in my living room.
I don't need to impress him (or confuse him!) by "spicing
up" my writing with words like "proceed"
and "consume" when the words "go"
and "eat" would have worked just fine.
Stilted language is a sign that the
writer is not confident that her OWN words-- the words
she would really use-- are good enough. It's puffing
up the writing to suit an editor. But think about this:
the more formal and convoluted the language, the harder
the editor will have to think just to get through the
piece. Too much thinking equals rejection, unless you're
writing for an academic or very intellectual market.
Editors want clarity. They don't want to have to reread
sentences to get the meaning of your words. Once the
eyes glaze over, you're in trouble.Another giveaway:
namby-pamby qualifiers that shift the responsibility
for the statements away from the author. Example: "It
seemed to onlookers that Mayor Ross might possibly have
been suffering from exhaustion."Were you one of
the onlookers? Was it pretty obvious that the guy was
falling asleep at the podium? Then don't shift the observation
into a passive voice. Be confident in your own powers
of observation and reasoning. "Mayor Ross seemed
exhausted."
The same goes for overuse of "experts"
and studies when none are needed. We all know that you're
supposed to get eight hours of sleep a night, right?
Then why do people insist on writing, "According
to doctors, eight hours of sleep per night is optimal"?
You don't need the doctor to say that for you. If you
know it to be true, you can skip the "according
to doctors" and get straight to your point, without
pulling out of your own voice.Another example: "usually,"
"probably," "most likely," "often,"
etc. Watch for these words in your writing. There are
times when they'll be necessary-- and, then again, there
are plenty of times when you can omit them.
I once had a psychology professor who
prefaced every statement she made with the words "basically,"
"usually," or "typically." It undermined
what she was saying, because it felt like she was unsure
of herself. When you write these words, it translates
to uncertainty-- did Mary Beth go to church on Sundays,
or did she "typically" go to church on Sundays?
If she skipped once or twice a year, she went. You don't
need a qualifier. If she skipped every other week, then
you can add a qualifier.
Be confident in what you are writing.
Every time you shift away responsibility for your words
by attributing them to someone else, or by watering
them down with adverbs, you give the reader leeway to
question whether or not you really know what you're
talking about.Another tip-off: fear of making a point.Similar
to the problem with too many qualifiers, pulling out
of your article too soon shows a lack of confidence
in your message. Let's say you wrote an entire article
about how a certain kind of duck is going extinct. You
talked about all the reasons why it's happening, and
you explained what people can do to help. Then you end
it with a lame conclusion like "Further studies
are needed" or "Experts will continue to examine
the causes..." blah, blah. Again, if you know that
what you've just said is true, you don't need to end
off with anything that detracts from your conclusion.
Sure, further studies may be conducted, but does that
take anything away from the evidence you've just reported?
Let your point come through loud and clear. Make the
decision to take a risk and be accountable for your
words.
You don't need to tie it all up neatly
with a moral, a la Aesop's Fables ("And that's
why we must all stop throwing plastic in the garbage").
Just let the strength of your entire article carry the
message-- let your readers come to the conclusions to
which you've directed them, and don't let them second-guess
those conclusions by giving a wishy-washy ending.Be
bold. Be confident. And let your very best writing shine
through.
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Jenna Glatzer is the Editor-in-Chief
of Absolute Write (www.absolute write.com) , a big website
for all writers. She is also a full-time writer with
hundreds of national and online credits, including Woman's
World, Salon.com, and Writer's Digest.. She is the author
of The More Than Any Human Being Needs To Know About
Freelance Writing Workbook (available at http://www.absolutewrite.com/workbook.htm).
Contact her at jenna@absolutewrite.com.
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